For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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