Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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