i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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