Sry I called you an 8
I can text with my tongue
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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