hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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