When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im six kinds of drunk right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think people are normalizing furries
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize