someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dignity is for republicans.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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