but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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