I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize