Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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