Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize