He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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