ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
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tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
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Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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