he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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