This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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