is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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