I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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