i don't like sucking hair
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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