There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize