This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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