I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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