I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize