This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I forget how to act sober
Randomize