Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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