So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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