Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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