he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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