In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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