Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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