Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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