Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So much rum. So many feels.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His nipple licking is glorious
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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