Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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