The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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