walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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