This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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