I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize