My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize