i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize