Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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