We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize