I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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