I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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