so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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