She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize