I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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