I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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