my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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