so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize