If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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