I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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